Divorce Mediation in Rochester

What does Divorce Mediation entail in Rochester?

Mediation is a family-centered process in which an impartial third party meets with a couple in conflict to help them reach a mutual and informed agreement for the terms of their separation, divorce, or family dispute in the Rochester area. Mediation acknowledges that these disputes have two main elements to address: the emotional one as well as the legal one. It therefore provides a safe setting for parties to communicate their needs and interests with each other while focusing on principled problem solving such as fairness, self-determination, and the best interests of all family members.

How is Divorce Mediation Different from a Traditional Divorce or Family Court Dispute?

In a traditional divorce parties rely on attorneys to help define their needs and expectations based on the attorney’s understanding and application of the law. Even without going to trial, the traditional Rochester divorce process is often inherently adversarial with both parties assuming positions and strategies advocated by their attorneys. Divorce mediation is an informal process in which the parties themselves are in control and empowered to make their own decisions. Divorce mediation seeks to reduce the tension and trauma of these conflicts, not increase it. This enables couples to achieve a sense of wholeness after the emotional and financial chaos of terminating their marriage or settling their custody/support matters. Divorce mediation does not require each spouse to view the other as an adversary. Instead, the Rochester based divorce mediator helps the couple work together to find the best way of resolving their disputes. Hostile feelings are reduced so that individuals can better adjust to the separation or divorce and plan for the future.

Mediation…

• Promotes communication and cooperation.
• Allows the parties to retain control over the decisions that affect their lives.
• Provides opportunity to define and address all the particular interests and needs of everyone involved.
• Helps the children win as well, as they see their parents working together for their interests and future.
• More affordable than litigation.
• Faster than litigation, enabling couples to sooner move ahead with their own lives.
• Focuses on the future.
• Explores creative options independent of legal parameters.
• Research shows that compliance and satisfaction with mediated agreements is higher than when terms are imposed by a court, resulting in less post-divorce litigation.

If We Can’t Communicate, Can We Mediate?

Yes. This is exactly the place for a divorce mediator. Through mediation, parties are encouraged to avoid past patterns and “getting stuck” in what went wrong in the past. Instead parties focus on what they want in the future, for themselves, and their children. Mediators help couples shift into new and productive way of communicating and problem solving, even while they are working towards their divorce.

What is the Time and Cost?

Moderate fees are based on hourly rates and payable after each session. There is no up-front retainer. Divorce mediation is faster than litigation and because both parties pay one mediator instead of two attorneys, the total cost will be substantially less than hiring separate attorneys in an adversarial process. A typical comprehensive mediated divorce takes 3-4 sessions in the Rochester area, whereas a litigated divorce may take years.

Will I Need an Attorney?

Attorneys can help their clients understand the law and make informed decisions. It is recommended that at some point before the final mediation agreement is signed, each party consults an independent attorney to review the mediated agreement.

How Does Divorce Mediation Work?

After a discussion to understand the divorce mediation process, the couple, with the help of the divorce mediator, begins by discussing each spouse’s concerns and interests. They gather any necessary information and determine criteria for making decisions. Step by step, the couple, having a chance to be fully heard, and to listen to each other, decides on the type of agreement they seek. The goal is to find a “win-win” result; a comprehensive settlement that is good for both parties and their children.

Matters Typically Decided in Mediation Include:

• Parenting Arrangements
• Child Support
• Property Distribution
• Debt Allocation
• Spousal Maintenance (Alimony)
• Tax Considerations

Sounds good in theory, but still have doubts?

Understandable. This is likely the first time you are going through a separation or divorce and it is understandable that an alternative other than the traditional adversarial process makes you uneasy. But consider this analogy: If you had a back problem or another physical ailment, would surgery be your first option? I hope not, especially if a different form of treatment is available claiming to offer all the same benefits of a full cure and recovery without any of the significant risks of surgery. At the very least, you would seek a second opinion. There is a way of resolving disputes, getting separated, or divorced without risking the loss of an amicable co-parenting relationship and/or the ability to have a positive co-parenting plan, not to mention losing an arm and a leg in professional fees. Divorce mediation offers a better alternative of treatment. Considering that 99% of all divorce cases settle before going to trial in Rochester and since mediation is voluntary and confidential, there is little to no risk in seeing if it will work for you.

Call Bates Family Law today at (585) 433-4661 to speak directly with our divorce mediator or to schedule your free consultation.